The Boys in the Lotto Lab are known throughout Flower Mound, Texas and points beyond for their bravery, courage, and despite their families fussing, their unremitting dedication to Lotto Texas. They have been an inspiration to underachievers… er… they mean.. folk heroes throughout the United States and parts of Puerto Rico.
They’ve concluded that many members of their family, the High School Class they should have graduated from, community college admissions officers and disgruntled members of the Flower Mound Police Department, annoyed members of the Lewisville Police Department and irritated elements of The Town of Flower Mound professional staff may not hold them in as high of a regard as they hold themselves .
There were a number of incidents involving these exemplary Public Servants… and… through no fault of their own… The Boys found themselves cuffed in the back of a squad car. The Boys reiterate… it was just a misunderstanding… they requested to be released on their own recognizance… unfortunately, the judge was not amenable, HOWEVER… when their Mom’s arrived, they were IMMEDIATELY granted their freedom after making bail and paying a nominal fine.
Once again, it was just a misunderstanding, it could have happened to anyone. The Boys agreed never to visit the pool at the Flower Mound CAC again.
And, try though they might, they’ve yet to land that lucrative government job at the Texas Lottery Commission. EVEN though, they PERSONALLY saved the Commissioners the embarrassment of the unremitting mockery of their peers. Click Here. Word on the street, the guys from the Oklahoma Lottery Commission were poised to be especially harsh. Something about a Red River Rivalry.
The Boys will maintain their laser like focus on winning the Texas Lottery. You can rest assured of that. But… they were having a few root beers the other day and slipped into a pensive, reflective mood. They’ve done ALL the lotto research. They’ve read ALL the Lotto Books. They’ve calculated and recalculated the odds of winning over and over again. Even though, they, and 100% of the other players have a 50/50 chance of winning, they have had an inexplicable 25 year dry spell.
It just doesn’t make any sense.
The Boys decided to branch out. They wanted a profession that didn’t take too long to achieve. They wanted something they could accomplish via mail order or on-line. They wanted something that required they wear a snappy hat. They were looking for clean work with no heavy lifting. They calculated what their average grocery bill is to determine how much they needed each and every week until they hit the Lotto Texas jackpot. They made a decision table from these criteria and headed to the Flower Mound Library.
In NO TIME they had their answer. The Boys were going to become Ordained Ministers.
They Boys studied non-stop and were ordained in less than 48 hours. They received their credentials via e-mail within minutes. No more run ins with law enforcement. The Boys are now respected members of the clergy.
It was time to make a buck.
The Boys began passing out flyers throughout North Texas. To expedite customer acquisition, The Boys contemplated an air drop. They couldn’t afford a plane and a pilot, so they threw a couple of hundred flyers from the roof of the Lotto Lab. Their Moms’ saw them. Made them pick everything up, so they returned to a more personal approach on street corners and on-ramps.
They vowed to impress the citizens of Flower Mound one prospect at a time.
Finally… their hard work paid off. They were going to officiate a wedding.
The Boys arrived in their newly acquired finery complete with impressive headgear. They waited for the gasps and snickering from the crowd to subside and then commenced their first ceremony. Everything was going great. They were about to get to the “I Do’s” when someone from the crowd asked about an opportunity to object.
The Boys were most interested in completing the ceremony and collecting their honorarium, but the guy insisted.
When the question was posed, the guy said, “Yeah, I object. That’s my wife.”
At first The Boys thought they were going to get to charge the happy couple double, as this was their second wedding. Then it became apparent that things were going to go South very hard
The Bride’s Mother was the first to speak, “Who is THAT?” AARON?!”
Sensing that something was amiss, The Boys said, very calmly, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats while we conclude this.”
They pulled the guy aside, accusations were leveled, competencies were challenged, charges were threatened and payment was denied.
Sob song aside, as The Boys reflected upon their adventure, They decided there is no opportunity like that provided by the Texas Lotto and their battle against Climate Disruption and anthropogenic change. All of the aforementioned should keep them too busy for a day job. Given that, they resigned their commission from “The Church of the Quick Buck” and returned to their roots. After all… they’ve ALWAYS got a 50/50 chance of hitting the multi-million dollar jackpot.
Next Time…. FER SURE!!!