The Great State Fair of Texas
The Great State of Texas is home to The Great State Fair of Texas. The Boys in the Lotto Lab are HUGE fans of both. A recent excursion to the fair provided an incredible time and another near miss at getting that CUSH Texas government job. The Boys have been angling for it for years.
As is typical, The Boys took the Green Line from Carrollton Station. For a just a few bucks, you can buy a round trip ticket to the fair and save 100% of the wear and tear on the Lotto Mobile. It’s a good thing too. The Lotto Mobile is in dire need of an oil change, a state inspection sticker, tires, insurance, a transmission and new wipers.
It works out really great for the other DART passengers too. It gives The Boys almost an hour to regale them with tales of “Lotto Daring Do.” No one can get enough of The Boys going on and on about the Texas Lotto and their dreams for fame, fortune and international recognition just as quickly as the hit their very own Texas Lotto Jackpot.
One thing puzzles The Boys. They wonder why there aren’t more riders on this super-fast, super-efficient, super-inexpensive method of transportation to the fair. By the time they get to the fair, they’re the only ones left in the train car.
They decided they would discuss it with the Texas Lotto Commissioner when they had their private meeting later today.
Anyway… as they always do, The Boys made their way to the Lotto Texas tent and trailer to explain to “Official” Texas Lotto employees that they MUST speak with the Texas Lotto Commissioner IMMEDIATELY.. if not sooner.
It was as if the commissioner’s employees knew they were coming. They were strangely silent as The Boys went from Texas Lotto employee to Texas Lotto employee making their case in no uncertain terms that the three of them were the perfect candidates to become “Special Assistants” to the Commissioner with a magnificent salary commensurate to their critically important responsibilities.
As long time readers know, The Boys bring an incredible amount of talent to the table for the Texas Lotto.
A very short recitation of their value includes:
- Lotto Commission Enriched By The Boys Presence
- Lotto Commission Access to CRITICAL Lotto Lab Research
- Lotto Commission Prestige Enhanced by Lotto Lab Credibility
- The Boys, Like The Lotto Commission, are the stuff of legends
- Lotto Commission Access to the Wit and Wisdom of The Boys
- Lotto Commission Prestige Enhanced by the Presence of The Boys
- The Boys are Willing to Bring their Kazoo and Perform Standup if the Meetings Start to Drag
- Massive Increase In Lotto Texas Ticket Sales When the Public Realizes The Boys are Employed by the Commission
The list goes on and on.
Through exhaustive Lotto Research, The Boys are prepared to present irrefutable evidence that their employment by the Texas Lotto Commission would result in an immediate increase in Texas Lotto ticket sales of AT LEAST $38.3625 Trillion Dollars each and every year.
That’s TRILLION.. with a “T.”
The positive impact on Texas Education and Texas Veterans is staggering. The Boys insist that they should start immediately.
In spite of their assurances of trillions in new revenues, the commissioner’s employees told The Boys that the commissioner was not actually present at the fair this year, so they’d need to call the Texas Lotto Commission in Austin and make an appointment to speak with him. As the commissioner is very, very, busy, they anticipate that the first available appointment would be 70 to 90 months out and that even though The Boys had an appointment it was subject to the commissioner’s frequent travel schedule. It seems that The Texas Lotto Commissioner is frequently tasked with traveling to national conclaves of other State Lotto Commissioner Meetings where, he says, he opens with a power point about The Boys, explaining to the other commissioners how they might increase their lotto ticket sales by trillions of dollars a year using tips and techniques he’s gleaned from the numerous phone calls and letters The Boys send to him each and every week.
The Boys are skeptical.
They’re pretty sure they saw him heading for a corn dog just as they were arriving, but, staff insisted they were mistaken and that the commissioner would not, under any circumstances, be attending the fair this year or any other year for the foreseeable future. So, there was no need for The Boys to keep asking.
Although heartbroken, The Boys decided to make the best of a bad situation. As a consolation prize, the employees of the Texas Lotto Commission insisted they take a Lotto Texas tote bag and go away. They were not disappointed. With incredible Lotto Swag like this, they decided to use it to impress the ladies.
It’s been scientifically proven that all the women both in attendance and working at the Great State Fair of Texas look like movie stars. The Boys are nothing if not smooth operators. They concluded that this would be the perfect time for them to locate and employ the Female CEO they’ve been looking for. SURELY there would be a qualified candidate amongst the incredible cuties at the fair.
The Boys were strutting their stuff down the midway, casually showing their lotto swag to any and all ladies that showed even the slightest bit of interest when they stumbled upon a group of Texas Goddesses.
The Kilgore Rangerettes were at the fair. The Rangerettes are the world’s best-known collegiate drill team, traveling from coast-to-coast and border-to-border in the United States and on several world tours.
Their Motto is:
Beauty Knows no Pain
The ladies are so very.. very wise.
That was ALL The Boys needed to know. They immediately started waving, break dancing and asking for resumes from the lovelies. The Boys were CERTAIN that they had FINALLY found the perfect candidates for the highly competitive position of Female CEO for the Lotto Lab.
The Boys were feeling exceptionally generous as they looked at the ladies, so they told their eager applicants that they may make an exception and hire all of them as Co-CEOs.
The Boys could tell ladies were impressed.
The Rangerettes were both gracious and kind to The Boys. They listened intently as The Boys told them of their efforts to hit the Texas Lotto. Shared with them details of their numerous applications to the Texas Lotto Commission to become “Special Assistants” to the commissioner. Regaled them with little known facts direct from the Lotto Lair. Told them of their efforts to fix the Lotto Loo and rendered ironclad assurances that everything would be working perfectly before the ladies arrived.
The Boys were ecstatic.
The Rangerettes were hanging on their every word. They were not going to mess this up. The Boys wanted to be certain they had all the ladies contact information so they could return to the Lotto Lair and begin scheduling interviews immediately. The Boys have delayed having business cards printed so they could keep their investments in the Texas Lotto maximized. Fortunately, there were numerous corn dog wrappers scattered around the area. They commandeered a pen from one of their fans and began scribbling their contact information on the souvenir wrappers.
The ladies were impressed with their creativity.
It was important that each and every Rangerette receive their own copy of the of The Boys contact information as none of them had cell phone numbers of their own or could remember the address of Rangerette headquarters. It was incumbent upon The Boys to assure the ladies had their number so they could call tomorrow and set up an interview.
The Boys left the fair feeling pretty good that evening. Soon, they would have not one, but 20 female CEO’s helping with critical lotto management. The Boys have decided to initiate a Lotto Lair dress code. They want the ladies to wear their official Rangerette uniforms to work.
Life is good. 🙂
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