World’s Best Looking Veteran
I was explaining to a crowd of star-struck admirers how I knew, absolutely, irrevocably, and indisputably, without a shred of doubt in my military mind, that I am the best looking Veteran that ever lived.
This is not just my opinion… these are undeniable facts backed up by incontrovertible evidence that is absolutely evident to any fair-minded observer.
To be clear, I’m not just talking about the United States Armed Forces, I’m talking globally.
That’s right, I’m talking:
- Russian Spetsnaz
- Iranian Republican Guard
- British Royal Marines
- China’s Peoples Liberation Army
- Royal Canadian Mounted Police
and all the rest of the more than 177 armed forces on the planet.
How can I say, with absolute certainty, that I am the best looking Veteran of ALL branches of the US Armed Forces and all other military organizations globally?
Easy. I am a United States Marine. So… BOOM!! All of us are better looking than all of them anytime anywhere.
That US Marine Corps Veterans are better looking than any other Veteran from any other armed service, either foreign or domestic, is an undisputed fact. Should you doubt me, feel free to ask any US Marine. You’ll get EXACTLY the same answer.
You’re probably thinking to yourself, sure Dave. Every one knows every Marine is smoking hot. But how do you know for sure that you’re the “Best of the Best?”
I’m glad you asked. It’s very simple.
Every year on 10 November (The Birthday of the US Marines), I direct the Commandant of the Marine Corps to provide me with 8×10 glossies of every currently serving active duty and reserve Marine.
The Commandant immediately overnights these 200,000+ photographs from Marine Corps Headquarters. Upon receipt, I retreat to an undisclosed location deep within The Mysterious Texas Bunker. Then, for the next 72 hours, I carefully scrutinize each and every photograph.
I was Honorably discharged in 1979. That means there are more than 40 (forty) years of photographic evidence backing my claim.
There is no disputing the process, there is no disputing the science, there is no disputing the conclusion.
My comprehensive analysis permits me to deduce that I remain:
The World’s Best Looking Veteran! 😉
I suspect… and I’m confident you agree that, as a US Marine AND a Native Texan, I may be the best looking man that ever lived.
Until we meet again. Discuss it among yourselves. 😉
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