Coyote Drinks Mad Dog 20-20
You asked for Texas Lies. I don’t lie very well, but here is a true story that might pass as a lie.
I live in a very heavily wooded, sparsely populated, area about 40 miles east of Austin. It is near the north shore of Lake Bastrop.
One day, my wife (an Alabama native) heard a rabbit squealing out back. She looked out and saw a coyote had cornered a rabbit and was closing in for the kill. The only problem is, she had never seen a coyote before. She thought it was just a neighborhood dog on the loose.
She rushed out there and grabbed the coyote by the nape of the neck and lifted it in the air. At the same time, she grabbed the rabbit by the nape of the neck with her other hand. So, there she stood – a wildly squirming 35-pound coyote in one hand and a wildly squirming 4-pound rabbit in the other hand.
The rabbit settled down pretty quick so she set it down and let it hop off. That left her with a rather agitated coyote in the other hand. Meanwhile, I had seen her predicament.
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Now I don’t drink. However, I keep a supply of the finest wines that money can buy on hand just in case some high-toned folks drop by to share a baloney sandwich with us.
I grabbed a jug of Mad Dog 20/20 and a doggie dish and headed for the back porch. I yelled to my wife to bring her pet to the porch. She brought that coyote to the porch and I poured some of that Mad Dog 20/20 into the doggie dish. The coyote sniffed the Mad Dog 20/20 and began lapping it up. As the coyote lapped, I continued pouring. Pretty soon, that bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 was empty.
My wife sat the coyote down and we watched it saunter off into the woods – a bit unsteady on its feet and grinning from ear to ear.
The next day, my wife was tending her tomato plants when she felt something tugging at her skirt. She looked down and there was that coyote. He was carrying a rabbit very gently by the nape of its neck. He wanted to trade the rabbit for some more Mad Dog 20/20.
Lake Bastrop, Texas
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